7 Reasons Quade Cooper Might Have Left the Reds

In some shocking news, even by Quade Cooper standards, the Reds fly-half has been reportedly told by head coach Brad Thorn, that he is no longer part of the Queensland outfit’s plans for 2018. The 2011 World Champion told reporters that he had an “honest conversation” with his maverick pivot. It is believed Quade and his half-back partner Nick Frisby, who’s also been told he’s surplus to Thorn’s requirements, will be headed to Japan. We do love us some baseless, yet hilarious speculation here at Blood and Mud, so here are seven of the possible reasons for Cooper’s mysterious sacking.

 

 

1. Quade spoiled his briefs at the thought of a Brad Thorn pre-season training session. The former All Blacks lock doesn’t take shit like that from his players. Quade was shown the door in shame after changing to brown shorts. Cleveland seems to be his next destination.

 

2. Brad wants Quade to defend his own channel.

 

3. Brad feared Cooper would turn his pre-season training session into a street acrobat performance. He found his proof when he discovered Quade’s secret stash of Cirque du Soleil music playing over his highlight videos.

 

 

4. As an initiation ritual, Brad insisted Quade ritually sacrificed his left pinkie finger to the Great Old One, Cthulhu. Quade, having once seen what passes for “titillating” in Japan, decides to take this ritual to the next level. Fisherman’s Wife XXIV: Quade Juggling Balls and Tentacles, out in theatres in Tokyo and Amsterdam, March 3^rd.

 

5. In the Game of Thorns, you win or you die. Quade chose dough over death.

 

6. Brad used Quade’s favourite golf course for the Reds’ scrum sessions. Naturally upset about this, Quade took some horse tranquilizers and stole Brad’s prize emu. The fallout has not been pretty.

 

7. Brad Thorn is secretly a vampire, which coincidentally explains his longevity as a player. When Quade discovered his coach’s vile secret, he fled Brisbane in terror. A mystical elder told the young pivot, that to purge Thorn’s evil, he must go on an inward journey with the warrior monks of Mount Fuji. Quade vs. Coachferatu: The Reckoning, out in cinemas near you, December 22^nd.

 

The post 7 Reasons Quade Cooper Might Have Left the Reds appeared first on Blood & Mud.

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