The St. James’ Lambs: Rugby’s Best Names

Santiago Cordero’s move to Exeter got us thinking: how many St. James Lambs are there out there? What silly names can we find in the world of rugby? We at B&M did some research (shut up, we did) and found the best examples for you.

 

Matías Alemanno – Matthew the German

Baptiste Serin – Baptist Canary-Bird

Clayton Blommetjies – Clay-Barrel Little-Flowers

Franco Mostert – Francis Mustard

Akker van der Merwe – Cornfield of a Dutch Delta

Richie McCaw – Not-Poor-Man McCrowsound

Richard Wigglesworth – Dick Twitches-Value

Joe Launchbury – Jesus-Father Start-End

Eugen Capatana – Eugene Tip-of-the-Penis

Florin Surugiu – Old-Coin Coachman

 

However, none of this actual research can compare to the fictional research we did, like a French neurospecialist. And so, here’s several names translated from the “Bants” language, used almost exclusively by hunter-gatherers from the “Massive Cunt” tribe.

 

James Andrew Welbon Haskell – Wicked Witch of the West Welbon

Michael Noel Brown – Angry Boy Statham-Face

Joe Marler – Very-Stable-Genius Lama

Aaron Luke Smith – Porta Potti Banga Party Spoiler-Head

Maro Itoje – Clappy McClapFace

David Pocock – Hippie McHipFace

Jacques Brunel – All Work and No Play Makes Jacques a Dull Boy

Samson Lee – RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

 

Any Bants translations we missed? Let us know below!

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